That's why mums go to

Iceland, Eyjafjallajökull - May 1st and 2nd, 2010 from Sean Stiegemeier on Vimeo.

Super creepy linguine and pesto

"Regardless, this children’s game has made me think, and it has made me cry."

Letter to Chris

Dear Chris,

Please do another one of your 'Top 25 Albums' of 20xx'. Also, if you include links like last time, that would be really cool.

Cheers!

Michael

Dismayland

from: http://www.ufunk.net/artistes/dismayland-entre-favelas-et-disneyland/ via: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/05/03/dismayland-disneylan.html

Kowloon Walled City

Narrative and the Shooting Game

I was sitting back and pondering after eating two Gregg's pizzas about 20 minutes ago when I started to think about the concept of story telling in the arcade shooting game. Of course, one of the most compelling features of a shooting game is it's simplicity. No matter how hard a game may be (Mushihimesama Futari occasionally pushes the 500 bullets on screen at one point boundary) or how convoluted it's scoring mechanics may be (the meat of any good shooting game is the practice of obtaining a 'high score'), the sole point of a game of this type is to shoot things while dodging bullets. In this sense, the genre is inherently high concept, it's purpose can be summed up in a single sentence. Much like Die Hard is a film about Bruce Willis in a vest in a skyscraper, a shooting game is about dodging and shooting. The ratio and importance between these qualifying actions may be shifted depending on the particular game or the sub-genre, but this is what it always essentially boils down to. However, there is also generally a necessity in STGs, as in all arcade games, to include a narrative, no matter how scant. There are the occasional examples that escape this need, for example Triangle Service's Shmups Shooting Test, but generally at least a vestige of plot has to be crammed in somehow.

Of course, narrative is a highly subjective concept, and can be dealt with in a number of ways. Hormony Korine's 1997 film Gummo at first glance appears to be free from the conventional trappings of narrative continuity, yet it manages to weave it's story through unconventional means. Cinematographic framing emphasises certain images that are used time and time again to link initially disparate characters, and there is a thematic continuity (for example through the images of animal torture) that further links the film. Arcade games, of course, cannot expect the same degree of cine-literacy that the average Korine viewer possibly wields, and nor do they need to. They are, of course, explicitly commercial entities, designed to goad the onlooker into parting with their money, and the most succinct manner in achieving this is through the attract screen.

The attract screen is the primary device used to get the onlooker to pump money into an arcade machine. Like it's name suggests, it is wholly there to 'attract' a potential customer. It functions much like a loop of film; when it reaches the end, it goes back to the beginning. Generally this loop will contain gameplay footage, a title screen, production credits, high scores and often garbled chunks of story, all the while interjected by a legend prompting the arcade visitor to "INSERT COIN". As soon as the requisite amount of money is inserted into the cabinet, the legend fades, and the machine leaves 'attract mode' to allow the player to play the game as long as they fulfil certain criteria (for example, retaining an initial allocation of 'lives'), or until they complete the game, whereupon the screen will often display screens displaying a narrative resolution. In both situations, the generic prompt 'GAMEOVER' will often be displayed, followed by a return to attract mode.

As was briefly mentioned before, attract mode often establishes a semblance of narrative, presumably to contextualise the action that occurs once it has fulfilled it's purpose and money has been inserted into the machine. For scholars of narrative, the concept of an attract mode that elaborates narrative before the narrative has officially begun proves problematic. If we are to adhere to Todorov's conventions of narrative, the attract mode can be seen as establishing a narrative equilibrium, one that is often disrupted before the loop is completed and repeated. For example, the 1992 Toaplan shooter Truxton II (Tatsujin Oh)'s attract mode merely shows a crater erupting into the game's title. In this instance, there is no semblance of equilibrium, merely the disruption of on equilibrium we never witness. The explosion is invective enough, in the eyes of the programmers to warrant the ensuing shooting action. Additionally, in this instance Todorov's theorised partial restoration of the equilibrium is impossible to realise; the game continues infinitely, ending only when the player finally looses all their lives or chances to play the game.

What nihilism is evident here! Truxton II is devoid of any conceivable state of equilibrium, only violent disequilibrium. It is also impossible to ever see a restoration of the un-detailed equilibrium. In a cruel twist for narrative analysts everywhere, only the extra-textual notion of achieving a 'high score', a feat that would take amazing skill and well over sixteen straight hours to accomplish will ever bring any semblance of conclusion to the act of commencing a game. There are games that do offer more meaty narrative reasons for participating in the simulated mass murder inherent to the shooting game, though the equilibrium, if even depicted, is characteristically brief.

Take, for example, the attract mode of Raizing's CPS2 shooter Dimahoo. The initial image of blue skies and inferred pastoral bliss are immediately destroyed by a shadowed assailant, giving us the narrative thrust to truly goad the onlooker into proving that he or she is indeed 'great' enough to accept the challenge. These direct modes of address are hardly rare in the world of attract modes. The English version of Data East's Dragonninja famously drawled the line "ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE THE PRESIDENT?". Dimahoo really takes the cake when it comes to the inherent absurdity of attempt to compress an entire exposition into a loop of images that are trying to catch your eye only long enough to get you to pay money to play it. "THE EARTH WAS REALLY HOLLOW!" chides an intertitle, relishing the absurdity of the situation. The protagonists? "THE TOUGH BOUNTY HUNTERS!". On cue, a selection of colourful generic character archetypes swarm the screen, inferring the variety that will be on offer if you'll only stop watching and actually play the thing. In a hilariously blunt finishing blow, the loop concludes with the legend "THIS IS DIMAHOO", of course leaving us in no doubt as to what we are expected to do. Equilibrium, disruption of the equilibrium, exposition of the antagonist, enigma codes, exposition of the protagonists, inferred character development through inherent schematic association's with character archetypes, a postmodern call to arms and a self assured distillation of these aspects into a punchy title. Dimahoo achieves more in 54 seconds than most films manage to establish in their entire first act.

Broken Blossoms

Finally got my hands on a copy of this amazing 1919 melodrama by Birth of a Nation director D.W Griffith. Now, it may not interest anyone else, but I was almost more interested in what age certificate the film would get than seeing the film again for the first time in around four and a half years. Looking at pictures on the internet, I saw versions of the front cover emblazoned with a 'PG' cert, and other versions with a '15' cert. Both versions were on DVD, so obviously this fluctuation had happened somewhat abruptly. Upon receiving my DVD, I was fascinated to discover the DVD case read 'PG', while the DVD was printed with a '15' certificate. This can only really suggest a sudden change in the BBFC's ruling, and the distributor opting for the lower age certificate for whatever reason.

Of course, the really interesting thing here is not the packaging, so much as what is contained on this DVD that to some eyes would be deemed unsuitable for any young teenager, yet to other regulators is fit for viewing for all aside from particularly young children? The answer lies in both the film's thematics, and the inherent recontextualisation that occurs when viewing such an old text.

Consider this: when we read about how the Vikings invaded what is now the United Kingdom, we are not spared the details of the rape and murder that they were involved in. However, it is perfectly acceptable to don a horned helmet (at a fancy dress party, for example) in direct emulation of a people renowned at least in part for their utilisation of what has now been classified as genocide: the act of war rape*. However, When we read of the similar situations that are going on in the world today, for example in Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, we act in revulsion. One would not dream of dressing up as a Congolese rebel in military gear for the sake of a party, so why is the emulation of one rapist preferable to the emulation of another?

The answer is, of course, the passage of time has distanced ourselves sufficiently from the initial violent invasions of the UK that we can joke about the Vikings, Genghis Khan, Jack the Ripper, and many other perpetrators of atrocities that, should these same things occur today, we would almost certainly not joke about (depending on present company and other factors, of course). Time, it seems, glosses over the horrors of the past, and makes them palatable for general consumption.

Which brings us back to Broken Blossoms, a film that not only contains brutal, unflinching scenes of domestic abuse, but also also sepia tinted hues and juddering inter-titles that we have perhaps seen more often in parody than in actual historical media texts. It is this distancing that undoubtedly justified the BBFC's decision to pass the film with such a low age certificate, whereas 90 years previously, the film had to be censored in the United Kingdom to even be exhibited at all. It is a stark reminder of the power of contemporary media discourse. Should this film be remade today in a style befitting the preferences of today's consumers of cinema, the violence and themes of racial hatred would doubtless offend and upset more people, necessitating a higher age certificate. Let us not forget that the film was at one point shown under the name The Chink and the Girl, and that towards the film's climax, Lucy exclaims "I love you, chinky!" to the film's supposedly Chinese protagonist. In 1919, a white girl declaring her love for a Chinese man would be seen as hard hitting, scandalous even. Now, the impact of this scene is invariably recontextualised on behalf of the viewer: weather he or she sees it as amusing, dated or even offensive, the original intended reading has been augmented by contemporary expectations and schematic associations.

If all we are seeing then is an incomprehensible palimpsest of subsequent reappraisals, then the BBFC's decision is an apt one. We are watching Broken Blossoms, not The Chink and the Girl. We are watching a "classic melodrama" as the box proclaims, and thus we should view the film not with its original intentions, but as an artefact and a curio. It would be possible to emulate the stuttering film stock and voiceless nature of the film in a digital environment, but the degradation of the stock that has occurred with age has also eradicated the contemporary critical, public and intertextual reactions of the film. As such, I will never see Broken Blossoms, I will only see the DVD. As much as I try and eradicate my own schemas, I will always intrinsically distance myself from the film. In a hundred years time, even my own schemas will seem privileged compared to the distancing that has occurred. And no matter what media is produced, and no matter how violent it is, it will one day be stripped of all potential offensiveness, no matter how strenuously we attempt to archive it for posterity. Everything we ever accomplish will ultimately be recontextualised beyond our own recognition, if it even has the privilige of being remembered at all. This is a fact that is beautiful, terrifying and comforting.

*This is, again, a reclassification that reflects a perception that changes through time. It is a fact, that has frighteningly remained a foregone conclusion for some time, that systematic rape is symptomatic of sending young men into battle. This does not exclusively occur in 'third world' countries, either. For example, the American Marines and Japanese soldiers alike were famous for the rape of thousands of women on the southern Japanese island of Okinawa during the second world war. Some estimates put the number of rapes committed by the American soldiers alone as upwards of 10,000 in a three month period. For more sombre reading, see Wikipedia's somewhat comprehensive article on war rape. The horrifying fact is that it is only in the last few years that war rape has been classified by the Geneva Convention as what it inherently is, a tool of subjugation, psychological torture and genocide.

Dear God, She Hates Herself

I wonder how many people have already wacked off over this

On the Other Bus

Following on from Tim's FB link - I quite enjoyed this.

I personally enjoyed the subtleties of:

'Muff Diver'

'Dicky Licker'

and,

'not interested in the opposite sex'

also, a few that slightly put me off my Galaxy Cookie Crunch (have you tried them? they're amazing - do so!)

I'd actually like to know who actually uses some of those in everyday conversation.

IN OTHER NEWS: I finally posted on MY blog /thanks.

edit: there's also a teachers pack - if anyone wants to use it for a lesson you get a million points!

UNTOONS

It's a new one on me.

e.g.

&

Some people have too much time on their hands 8-)

Which one's Tim and which is Chris?

As time do pass and memory do wane,

And cerebral cortex goes down the drain,

One problem we must all address,

Which one's Tim and which is Chris?

For when it comes to recall, far too often

These lad's names remains forgotten.

And while this fuss is nary intended,

It still leaves our friends offended.

If these names leave you confused

Here's a rhyme that you may use.

Use with aplomb and finesse,

And never more will you forget.

If his head has curly locks

Then surely it is Chris you've got.

If his head is sparse and thin,

Then rest assured that you've found Tim.

M.B Collins 2010

BLAADY HELL

There were 37 posts in June last year.

Well I loled

http://www.animalscount.org/backup/images/img150_logo.jpg

Let's hope they beat Cameron ay?