TOP 5 CINEMATIC OPTIC MUTILATION BONANZA

Well, I think it’s time to put my film degree to good use at last. After 3 years of intense studying, and many more years of collecting and researching cinema, my knowledge of film is consequently without parallel. As such, I feel it is only right to share my knowledge with you less fortunate individuals, in the hope that you may glean some important knowledge. Thus, with the utmost scholarly endeavour, I present to you a load of films where people get stabbed in the eyeball

5: THRILLER: EN GRYM FILM

In at number 5, we have Bo Arne Vibenius’s 1974 exploitation sleezearama Thriller. In this generally poorly made filth fest, we follow the plight of poor Madeline as she is kidnapped from her pastoral existence, drugged, made hopelessly addicted to heroine and forced into prostitution. Obviously, our plucky young hero has a problem with this, and scratches her first client’s face up. However, her pimp, in what is perhaps the biggest over reaction in cinema history, grabs a screwdriver and gouges out her eye with it. Oh noes! This stabtastic scene, while brief compared to some of the others featured here get’s extra bonus points due to the fact the director claimed that he used an actual corpse for this scene LOL

4 : SHIRYU NO WANA

This little known 80’s creepy slash fest is often credited as being the first ever Japanese horror film. Oh, how I wish they still made films like this rather than the boring and dreary Ringu series… Anyway, Wana (or Evil Dead Trap as it’s known in the west for some reason) is a very well made piece of trash cinema with some genuinely scary touches. For some reason, it also has this particularly unpleasant scene right at the start of the film, where the 80’s permed protagonist views a snuff movie sent into her viewer submitted clip show. This is like the equivalent of sending your home made execution video into You’ve been Framed, and as such, the sender should be commended for his balls.

3: THE BEYOND

Director Lucio Fulci is perhaps best remembered for his films where people get their eyes torn out, so it was perhaps inevitable we would see him on this list. In this charming scene, the house’s maid is accosted by a zombie crawling out the bathtub, who then slams her head against a conveniently placed nail with predictable results.

2: GUINEA PIG

At number two, we have the pretty horrible fake snuff film Guinea Pig, from, that’s right, Japan. In the late 80’s and early 90’s in Japan, there was a small craze for these plotless, misogynist gore fests, often released without credits to heighten the authenticity. Guinea Pig was the first and most famous, and was lagely responsible for the implementation of video age certificates in Japan in the early 90’s. In the bloody climax, a young woman has her eyball pierced by a bunch of chavs. Probably the worst film ever made on every conceivable level, Guinea Pig still manages to secure a place in your hearts at number 2 :)

1: UN CHIEN ANDALOU

Well, it was pretty obvious, but novertheless, deneying Un Chein Andalou its place at the top would be sacrelidge. In this 16 minute surrealist short from 1929, a woman’s eyball is slit open on a moonlit night. As the clouds biscect the moon, so too does a razor split the woman’s eye, and with that, it was assured that every year thousands of people would groan in disgust in film classes across the world. The scene, performed on a real (cow’s) eye, was acted by the director himself, who was physically ill for days afterward. Bless him.

Anyway guys, that’s it, I hope you enjoyed a snapshot of what it’s like to be a film scholar! Join me next week for more fun facts and enlightening anecdotes from the world of film!


NEXT WEEK: RAPE