Sunday, 28 December 2008

It's all rosy down south!

My Christmas was pretty awesome lol. 

Went home Christmas Eve, nice leisurely train ride down, full of serene landcapes and cold-looking cows. Went to my sister's house and ate lots of awesome food and mulled cider (yum). Eventually, arrived home to my warm, cosy, non-mouldly, non-shithole home, played some cluedo, drank some more mulled cider and sat down to the most awesome roast lamb and potatoes ever. Fluffly, cute animals are definitely better off roasted. 

Christmas day was spent with a fair bit of family and friends, played the dvd trivial persuit and had another awesome meal of roast turkey (obvs) amazing pork crackling (salty bits of fat really shouldn't taste that good) and other bits of filipino food - dumpling soup and some beef stew stuff. stuffing and gravy is amazing. Was whisked away to my brother-in-laws-parent's house before the dreaded karaoke began (although it is my mother's horribly tuneless voice, that is most upsetting and she spent xmas in the philippines (:())in eseeeeex and sat down for a second(!) christmas dinner and then proceeded to eat lots of homemade mincepies/christmas pudding/biscuits/mints/sandwhiches/etc. and more mulled cider (which was even better by this point as it a lot milder and cinemoney (sp?)) then spent the rest of the day playing quizes and games. Present-wise I got quite a bit of bath stuff (this is good), a wheres wally, dvd, monies, and enough food to last for a good while huzzah and the stuff i got for other people seemed to go down well - which was good seeing as most of the hard-earned money i've been working for the last few weeks went on it!
 
Spent boxing day with some friends and then went home and ate lots of yummy leftovers. Other than that re-read northern lights (better than i remembered!) and played lots of professor leyton on ds, which is good. 

In sum, Food is what christmas is all about. 

Friday, 26 December 2008

A VERY MICHAEL CHRISTMAS







CHRISTMAS EVE

12:31 : Get Christmas present from Dad. I want to save something to open on Christmas day, but I open it anyway. I already have it. Also receive £5 from my cousins.

12: 36 : Tearful farewell to Chaz

12:37 : Go back to bed and play DS for a few hours.

15:12 : Eat nutritious lunch of one (1) mini sausage roll. 

15:14 : Put on shoes and spend xmas fiver on booze. Bill drops one of my cans but I can’t remember which one.

15:20 : Have a shit with the door open listening to 1950’s drone music. Return to room to find the bass has shook several valuable items off my speaker shelf.

15:28 : Start to get dressed for work. Feel cold/empty.

15:33 : Can’t find my keys.

15:37 : Don’t worry, found them.

15:38 : Tuck £4 into my pocket to buy more booze on the way back from work. Maybe.

15:40 : Better head off, really.

15:43 : Notice sign outside the bowling ally warning me of the penalties of depriving my family of bowling fun this Christmas.  Think to myself that I would like to see some government backed statistics regarding the effects of bowling deprivation in developmental context.

15:47 : Saunter in. The signing on machine is broken, so we have to sign in with pen and paper. How archaic.

15:53 : Enter food court to gleeful shouts of festive fun. I feel at least 10 years older already.

16:45 : Take a toilet break. Some fool has blocked my favourite cubicle with a monster sized turd.

18:02 : We start to close food court early because no one is in.

18:07 : Three Million People come through the door.

18:18 : I explain to at least the 4th gentleman that we’ve taken off all the food prematurely, and there will be no xmas burger for him tonight.

18:27 : I serve a couple of posh, jailbait girls with braces coffee. Feel guilty for my impure thoughts when I see them take the drinks back to their grandparents.

19:29: Pregnant woman who looks unnervingly like a black version of Charlene’s sister orders large fries and  a latte. 

19:31 : I serve a gorgeous Chinese woman a milkshake. Despite the slight language barrier, she is by far the most pleasant and friendly customer I’ve had all night. This is obviously because she wants to shag me.

19:57 : I am free! I sign out and walk home. Luckily I pass no rude boys tonight.

20:02 : Get back and swipe a beer and a bottle of milk out the fridge, and take it upstairs.

20:24 : Open beer, stick on some sludge metal, and generally feel pretty good.

20:26 : Have another shit.

20:36 : Finish shitting. Smoke a fag.

20:57 : Realise Geoff’s is closed, and I have no food.

21:01 : Is Pete Postlethwate everywhere these days etc?

21:12 : Think about having an Ironic Wank to Calendar Girls. Maybe not.

21:15 : Start cooking a Pasta Meal that Joe would undoubtedly be proud of.

21:20 : Think about having an Angry Wank to My Family. Maybe not.

21:59 : Have a half hour chat with dad. Realise I won’t have the heart to tell him I already own the Luis Bunuel Box Set.

22:04 : Open second beer.

22:20 : Feeling rosy cheeked and sleepy watching Gavin and Stacy. 

22:29 :The door spontaneously makes a loud banging noise, leading to a gruelling 10 minute ghost/chav hunt.

22:54 : Eat rest of Chazbo’s fantastic chocolate and coffee cake. 

22:59 : Feel ill.

23:19 : Someone mentions Dagenham on Eastenders, to which I go “Yay, Dagenham”, and look round the room for approval.

00:13 : Seriously consider peeing into a can so as not to miss Russell Brand. Realise this is pathetic.

00:33 : Hear a police siren in the distance and spare a thought for the poor bastard in the car driving off to sort out whatever piss-up has gone awry.

00:39 : Open 6th beer.

00:42 : Put on 3rd jumper.

00:53 : Sing a song about how much I love Charlene.

00:54 : Sing a song about how much I love Christmas. 

00:56 : Am finding typing increasingly difficult. 

00:57 : Can’t take any more Alan Carr. 

00:58 : Stick on a live Khanate album.

01:00 : I hope no one’s in next door.

01:08 : Think about building a Shack downstairs.

01:10 : Smoke 14th fag. Realise I hate smoking, and that I even went as far as to chuck my fags away this morning. Charlene warned me against it. What a guiding light.

01:11: Remember fishing my fags out of the bin this afternoon and feel a bit sombre. 

01:13 : I’ve realised a lot this evening.

01:14 : Play you made me realise by My Bloody Valentine. I hope no one is in next door x 34.

01:17 : I have 635 minutes worth of music on my computer. And an absolutely enormous dick.

01:25 : Do a stupid dance to some PC98 music. I love arpeggios. 

01:27 : I fucking love video grahams. 

01:29 : Best Soundchips ever: PC98>Master System(Yup, controversial I know)Famicom>Gameboy>Megadrive.

01:31 : I am going to die alone.

01:39 : Frantic chiptune is making the whole house vibrate. Hopefully the police have better things to sort out.

01:41 : Fall up the stairs. Hurt my right foot.

01:43 : Smoke 15th fag.

01:48 : Drink water, drop water, head rush.

01:49 : 13th toilet break. Lock door behind me. Chuckle at the irony.

01:55 : God I’m fucking gorgeous.

02:07 : Sleepy man.

02:14 : Might be time to turn in.

02:21 : Try and play some DS in bed and fail miserably.

02:25 : Pass out.






CHRISTMAS DAY

08:23 : Wake up feeling awful.

09:54 : Wake up feeling awful.

10:17 : Wake up feeling awful.

11:27 : Wake up feeling alright. Decide that this is the best I’m going to feel and get up.

11:40 : Vile, evil beer shit yay.

12:09 : Fill water bottle. Wonder why no one’s phoned me yet.

12:13 : So fucking hungry, but I have nothing good to eat.

12:14 : And no one loves me.

12:30 : Mum and granddad phone me. Feel a twang of loss.

12:36 : Place both Luis Bunuel box sets alongside each other. Wonder how much I can sell it for.

13:36 : Get off phone from dad, my brothers, my sister and my step mum. My littlest brother has got a DS with a dinosaur game. He sounds positively delighted, and talks to me for all of 4 seconds before running off with it. My slightly elder brother discusses the differences between Disney Pixar, Pixar and DreamWorks films. He’s a Collins!

13:40 : Run up and down the stairs a few times.

14:14 : Get off the phone to Chaz. Oh, I’m popular today.

14:20 : Think about leaving the house. Play videogames instead.

15:12 : I’ve run out of cigarettes. 

15:15 : Consider the options for dinner. Egg and chips, more pasta, Kimchi soup, mould off the wall.

16:03 : Play Ikaruga on the Wii. Frustrated that I can’t use the classic controller. Or of course an arcade stick. Realise no one cares.

16:15 : It’s dark. Xmas is almost over and I have achieved nothing.

17:24 : Eat epic xmas dinner of chips, egg and bread. Lovely.

18:28 : Loll around upstairs. Realise I have an 8 hour shift tomorrow, and a ten hour shift the next day.

19:07 : Think about going to bed 5 hours early.

19:12 : Mum phones again. Starting to feel a bit hung-over. Should have gone for a walk earlier.

20:30 : Watch Wallace and Gromit. It’s pretty good.

20: 59 : Dad phones. Another half an hour. I’ve been on the phone for like 2 hours today. So much for being lonely. Dad says me and Chaz should go to Ireland and stay in a rented cottage down the road. Sounds pretty ace. He also says my brother is addicted to High School Musical. 

21:43 : Give up on the Royale Family. Too northern for me. 

21:48 : Really sleepy. Realise that I have no alarm clock, and thus there’s no guarantee of getting to work on time, or at all.

22:00 : Spend a while reading about meth addiction on Wikipedia. 

22:11 : Stick on some electro house in a last ditch attempt to get happy.

23:00 : Go downstairs, eat chocolate.

00:22 : Retire to bed with snooty music magazine and a general world weary attitude.

00:24 : Use DS as alarm clock. What a nifty device altogether.

01:36 : Hear woman screaming in terror outside, and a revving car cutting short her screams. Lol.

02:10 : Still awake, thinking about Chaz coming back tomorrow (kinda)





BOXING DAY

08:25 : Wake up, thinking I’ve overslept. Fall asleep instantly.

10:30 : Tinny DS speakers somehow wake me up.

11:04 : Drag self out of bed.

11:20 : Hearty breakfast of bran flakes and water. Feel a bit ill.

11:40 : Realise I have beans on my work trousers. Too late to do anything about it now. Yawn.

11:54 : Sign in for work on fixed machine. Will be getting £11:40ish an hour today, so make special effort to look busy.

13:45 : Showcase is laughably dead. Someone else volunteers to go home, the fool.

17:04 : Eat hearty lunch of chips and coleslaw and Sprite. Not too shabby.

17:35 : Play Hangman for an hour or so. Someone else goes home instead of me. This is looking good.

19:58 : Boring day is mercifully over, and goes by just like that. Pocket just over £90 before tax for really not doing much at all.

20:14 : Have a foul, fibre assisted shit. Remember every four seconds that I’m working the same shift tomorrow, but with two hours extra on the end. I guess they’ll send me home early, which is fine by me.

20:30 : Wonder what I’ll cook for dinner. Feel pretty nauseous.

20:33 : Remember it’s Tim’s birthday today. Happy birthday Tim.

20:49 : Check my phone. Turns out Chaz is arriving at 10am tomorrow, so I’m going to have to get up early. Bah.

21:24 : Really have to eat something, but frankly can’t be bothered.

21:47 : I don’t want to go to work tomorrow D:

22:00 : Bran flakes for dinner.

22:32 : Moar Bran flakes

23:23 : Emerge from cleansing shower waters as a new man.

23:55 : Slink off to bed, hoping that tomorrow goes quickly, quickly…

Monday, 22 December 2008

In the bleak midwinter...

Oh, it's grim up North... Not so much cold, but bloody miserable. Credit crunch is alive and infectiously rampant up here, as is the common cold... I have another. Oh yes, rejoice! Fuck off angels - hark nothing.

Mood isn't much better...

Where the hell is Christmas?!?!? Who hid it? OK, so I'm not religious, anti it at times, but I've always been a fan of Christmas I'm afraid. Forget what the name means, and forget the cynic (sometimes me...) who calls it consumer-time or tells us all that we shouldn't neeeed a date to celebrate family and friends. Humans are lazy, they need a fucking date in their diary. 25th December is as good as any.

So where the hell is it? In their haste to save their necks the shops have forgotten to even put in the scant amount of effort they used to, to bring Christmas cheer. Just the world SALE emblazened everywhere. Families struggling (including mine), are cutting back drastically, so there's no Xmas spirit at home. TV has put in a bit of effort, and although I know I'll enjoy it as much as everyone else in my family, it makes me sad to think that what myself and much of my family are looking forward to this Christmas is watching Gavin & Stacey, The Royal Family, etc, Xmas specials. Fucking hell.

OK, so a lot has changed... I have refined tastes - both in the literal sense (veganism) and aesthetically I'm very different to the whole of my family too - in books, films, music... you name it! But, despite that, I felt a month or so ago, that it'd still be a good fun time, and that any time I'd start looking forward to it...

That time never came, and I'm still not in the Christmas mood now. I'm bored. I'm ill. I'm bored. 2009 seems to be rushing forward, and I was welcoming it not long ago... But now I feel cautious, and feel that perhaps I don't want to let go of 2008 after all, despite it's difficulties. Ah, can't stop time, or turn it back... Only Superman (apparently only the once) can do that!

But one more thing is looming in my mind...

Is this the year I've truly become an adult? Is this the year I don't enjoy Christmas? Is this the year I start my slow, inexorable plunge into the miser...???

Maybe I'll be visited by a few ghosts soon... Bah, humbug!

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Tim's Albums 08



I'm not much good at keeping up with modern music so instead of trying to force a list of albums from 2008 that I quite like, I've instead listed the top albums I first heard in 2008. So with a vague sense of order, here is Tim's top 20 albums of 2008:


Stereolab – Chemical Chords (08)
Well polished Emporer Tomato Ketchup-style Stereolab. J'aime.


Exploding Star Orchestra - We Are All From Somewhere Else (07)
Intergalactic trance jazz.


Hiromi - Time Control (07)
Intergalactic piano jazz/rock fusion.


Venetian Snares - Rossz Csillag Alatt Szueletett (05)
Breakbeat Electronica + Classical Samples = Ace.


Isotope 217 – The Unstable Molecule (97)
Electro post-rock-jazz fusion, occasionally alienating, always fantastic.


John Coltrane - My Favourite Things (60)
Coltrane spreads his magic dust on some well known tunes.


Dave Brubeck – Time Out (59)
Jazz taken to almost classical levels of perfection.


YMCK – Family Genesis (08)
Chip tune with jazz sensibilities and ethereal female vocalist, nice.


Ryoji Ikeda – Test Tones (08)
Electonic artist who breaks music down to almost nothing and produces something special.
- Earlier albums (0C, Space/Time esp.) also well worth a listen.


Six Organs Of Admittance - Shelter From The Ash (07)
Epic psychadelic folk-rock, winner.


Tortoise- Standards (01)
Post-rock with jazz overtones, good stuff.


Neu! – Neu! (72)
Trance inducing Kraut rock, made in '72 yet "still sounds ahead of its time".


Steve Reich - Music for 18 Musicians (98)
Simply beautiful minimalist composition.
- Also does a good line in percusion on Drumming (74)


Crystal Castles – Cystal Castles (08)
If it's good enough for the car adverts it's good enough for me.


Fuck Buttons – Street Horrrsing (08)
A goodly noise.


OOIOO – Taiga (06)
Experimental female Japanese drum troupe, what's not to like?
- Green & Gold (00) also highly recommended


Manu Delago & Christophe Pepe Aeur - Living Room (07)
Incredible Hang/Bass Clarinet jazz duet.


Portico Quartet – Knee Deep In The North Sea (07)
Amazing jazz debut, spot the Pullman reference.


Esbjörn Svensson – Leucocyte (08)
Posthumous post-bop. Submit and be astonished.


Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You And I Will Beat Your Ass (06)
My new favourite band.
- See also: I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One (97)

Sunday, 7 December 2008

Albums Of 2008!

It's taken ages, because I'm busy/lazy... But finally here we are...

Being so submerged in the music scene, many would think that I would have a rather expansive knowledge of new music coming out and what was going on generally in the 'metal' scene. A good proportion of the time that is true, but at the same time I must acknowledge that I feel I'm not as knowledgable of the music scene I love as I was when I arrived at university.

Ironically, it is the very fact I am more involved with the record label that has seemingly caused this. I must concentrate so much on my releases and am so caught up in that bubble that I have missed things even in the niche scene I occupy.

Anyhow, after a good think, I still did manage to arrive at a decent sized list that needed cutting down. First of all I have removed three albums released on my own label - I am proud of them, but it would be a little egocentric of me to have them in my own personal list. For reference though they are Ehnahre's The Man Closing Up, Fall Of Efrafa's Elil and Seven Nautical Miles' Every Ocean Reversed.

I have also ommited Amenra's Mass IIII, due to their association with SD, from our 2xLP release of Mass III. I have left one band in my list who SD might be working with on a vinyl release of said album. However, at the time of writing, we have agreed nothing, so I have decided to keep it in. You can probably easily guess who they are.

I've linked places to download them. I'm not advocating it though... ;)

10) MELVINS - Nude With Boots (Ipecac)

Melvins, with an optional 'the', produce a second album with the Big Business duo handling the rhythm section. The question is whether they could really recreate the amazing comeback, quality album that was (a) Senile Animal? The answer is yes, with the start of the album leading on from where the last opus left off.

Let's face it, when it comes to Melvins you want sludgy hard rock that's just about face rippingly heavy and loud to satisfy the metal fan in you, and unbelievably catchy to make you want to shimmy about and love the odd pop sensability that surrounds them. These guys are responsible for the vast majority of the acts in this little list, and that needs to be paid tribute.

Download Here.

9) HARVEY MILK - Life... The Best Game In Town (Hydrahead)

Although quite not as old as the Melvins, Harvey Milk are just about as influential, especially when it comes to the more extreme ends of metal. However, there is only THAT album (Courtesy And Good Will Toward Men) that can properly be attributed to contemporary experimenters in all things heavy. Their other albums deal in hard and classic rock. Despite going for many years, this is actually only Harvey Milk's fifth album, having had a nine year hiatus/break-up between albums 3 and 4.

Come back album Special Wishes was an absolute stormer, and I couldn't really imagine the new one, despite moving to Hydra Head, being any better. And it isn't. But IT IS Harvey Milk, so it's still wicked. Taking a heavy turn again, the band rattle through instant classics like 'Death Goes To The Winner', 'Decades' and 'Motown'. They're a real rock band - they do what they want, when they want and they don't give a shit whether you like them or not. I love them and you should too!

[Link Removed]

8) KAYO DOT - Blue Lambency Downward (Hydrahead)

Ah, my beloved Kayo Dot. 2006's undeniable album of the year was Dowsing Anemone With Copper Tongue. Unsurprisingly, Kayo Dot followed in the footsteps of all the best Robotic Empire artists, and have hopped over to Hydra Head's glittering and perhaps flattering roster (considering they hardly ever do any grass roots work).

Blue Lambency Downward was not what anyone was expecting. This is, however paradoxically, exactly what one should expect from Kayo Dot. Having lost five members in the interrim period (from a line-up of seven to just two plus guests), one must be greatful another KD album has emerged. It was sure to estrange some fans, annoy others, and absolutely cement themselves as genius' to other music aficionados. It has done somewhat of the latter two for me.

BLD is definitely NOT a metal album, by any stretch of the imagination. It incorporates a much more complex orchestral approach and revels in Toby Driver's love of jazz. There are some great moments on the album, but it just feels like the album is missing the punch that is needs to make it more memorable. Despite being placed highly, it is perhaps the least played of the albums listed in my top 10.

Download Here.

7) OXBOW - The Narcotic Story (Hydrahead)

Oxbow have been a band that have slipped under my radar for quite some time. Initially I didn't get it at all, and considered my purchase of Love That's Last: A Wholly Hypnographic & Disturbing Work Regarding Oxbow, (a retrospective collection of outtakes, live performances, jams from past album recording sessions) as wasted money. I have Hydra Head to thank for my recent metamorphosis as an adict of Eugene Robinson & Co's works of genius.

I check out most of the label's new releases, and having heard Oxbow had joined the ranks, I decided to give them another shot, as The Narcotic Story was fully streamable. It blew me away. The raw aggression and emotion, the beautifully arranged pieces of free jazz, rock, metal music accompanied by nihilistic, outraged, passionate, loving, confused, poetic lyrics and vocals by man-mountain, Mr. Robinson. Sure his vocal takes some getting used to, but it's so distinctive and original and just seems to... work. Pieces such as 'Down A Stair Backwards' and 'Frankly Frank' are just breathtaking.

Download Here.

6) THOU - Peasant (Autopsy Kitchen/Level Plane)

Thou are a band that have come from nowhere, and in a short period of time, have commanded the respect of the sludge and doom scene. Their debut Tyrant is a good piece of work. I discovered them before the aforementioned furour and was impressed, but not bowled over. However, I kept an eye on them, and was pleased to see them getting recognition. Then, all of a sudden, the internet went into hyperdrive as it can do, and Thou was on the tips of every tongue of those who love feedback driven loudness. Tyrant was reissued by Gilead Media on CD, and crucially, will be reissued on LP by home of all things doom, Southern Lord.

The band are ridiculously productive and have completed a set of EPs and splits destined for multi format on multiple different labels, both big and small. In amidst this crazy release scheduling, Peasant, the band's second album, could have almost been missed. Had it not been for the fact that it's fucking amazing, far outstripping its predecessor, building and perfecting on the template it set out. Blending their stripped down, primal, sludgey doom, Thou have added a peppering of melody and dynamics to the preceedings, thus creating a intriguing and very listenable sound, despite their over arching heaviness.

Download Here.

5) INTRONAUT - Prehistoricisms (Century Media)

Intronaut are another band that have more than pleasantly suprised me this year. Unlike Thou, Intronaut have, for a few years, steadily built up a fan base and clearly defined back catalogue. First came the long-playing EP Null which was instantly raved about and then came debut full length Void which vastly increased their already rabid fan base, and also received even more critical acclaim.

It is at this point, that I'll interject, and say that despite liking them there was nothing especially special that made me stand up and take note, like so many others were doing. Challenger came next - a three track EP with some remixes and live performances stuck on the end. Again, nothing astouding in my opinion, but another very solid release that I would happily release and find moments that were excellent.

Now, having moved from Goodfellow Records (and Translation Loss, who released Challenger), Intronaut had caught the attention of large metal label Century Media. An interesting choice by the label, and one that is perhaps a reaction to some indies rising through the underground, off the backs of successful 'post-metal' bands. Well, they struck gold either way. Prehistoricisms is absolutely outstanding. Always infamous for their unbelievable bass driven work, Intronaut's talent shines through, with a pummelling, driving, technical bass, and shimmering, complex guitar and drum groove.

The vocals are perhaps the weakest part of Intronaut in general, but a standard mid-low 'metal' vocal compliments the music perfectly, and I feel adds to their sound. An instrumental Intronaut (as they often were on previous releases' tracks) tend to stretch the listener's patience. Prehistoricisms catches the balance perfectly. These guys are a force to be reckoned with. Check out 'Any Port'.

Download Here.

4) BLACK SHEEP WALL - I Am God Songs (shelsmusic)

"The truth of the matter was that it wasn't so much that I wanted to die, but that I just didn't want to go on living."
"The truth of the matter was that it wasn't so much that I wanted to die, but that I just didn't want to go on living."
"The truth of the matter was that it wasn't so much that I wanted to die, but that I just didn't want to go on living."
"The truth of the matter was that it wasn't so much that I wanted to die, but that I just didn't want to go on living."

OK, happy, happy. Ahem. So, Black Sheep Wall, as you may have guessed are - a) Depressing, b) Nihilistic and, you probably guessed, c) FUCKING HEAVY.

I Am God Songs takes the blueprint of songs by Meshuggah and then just sticks the volume up ten fold, makes it more polyrythmic than your ears can handle, make it heavier by ten fold, more depressing than anything ever put to tape, and then just for a mind fuck, seem to have made one of the most uplifting and gorgeous metal releases I've heard in a very long time.

Why isn't this higher then? Good question. First of all, 2008 has been an awesome year for music. On top of this, I feel than despite it's brilliance, there is more in BSW's musical tank, and for that reason, I'm not giving them top spot, because 2009's list shall surely be theirs.

The whole album is amazing, but standout tracks 'Myolden', 'Modest Machine' and 'Ten Fucking Billion' scream underground classics to me. They must be fucking scary live.

Download Here.

3) A STORM OF LIGHT - And We Wept The Black Ocean Within (Neurot)

Ex-members of Neurosis, Red Sparowes and Unsane join forces? Neat. Result? Awesome. And We Wept The Black Ocean Within is a lovingly crafted album, with all the talent ascribed by the members' past bands showcased in the album's songwriting.

Dedicated to Greenpeace and all charities protecting the world's oceans from human interferance, AWWTBOW acts like the sea - calming and reassuring in the lulls of light, and swelling and crashing when the music bellows into storm. Opener 'Vast & Endless' is a perfect example - meditative and dirge-like one second, raging the next.

Many have ignored this album, claiming it to be just another 'post-metal' release. Why listen to this, when you can listen to old Neurosis and ISIS albums? Well, why listen to any new music if you're going to take that approach?! If something's good, it's good. End of. This is perfection, so take a listen.

Download Here.

2) TORCHE - Meanderthal (Hydrahead/Robotic Empire)

Number 2 on my list, but Number 1 on many, many lists across the internet and in magazines worldwide, is Torche's somophore record Meanderthal. Pop-sludge anyone? Hell no, would be the reply of me and thousands of others. Those just don't mix. Even genre mixing pioneers Boris haven't attempted that! C'mon. No way. Be serious. Really? Yes, fucking really. It shouldn't work, but Torche went away and in their crazy musical laboratory managed to mesh two totally conflicting genres to perfection.

The album whisks by in just over half an hour, with ten minutes of this attributed to the last two tracks. Classic songs just pop up everywhere, and these WILL be played for years and years to come, and WILL be the songs that young bands cover and that the crowd crow for. Torche ARE the band of this decade that, like Nirvana did in the 90's, made people pick up a guitar and form a band. They have that feel, that buzz about them. I will be astonished if even mighty metal indie Hydra Head manage to hang onto them for their next album.

How they top Meanderthal is a damn hard question. How they do it, with the very recent departure of guitarist Juan Montoya, asks an even harder question of the remaining three. Is it possible? If they do... if they do... Who knows? Superstardom for a band rooted in sludge? Hard to imagine, but if there was a band to do it, it would be Torche.

Download Here.

1) TRAP THEM - Seizures In Barren Praise (Deathwish)

This album came out very recently. Right at the end of 2008. Late last month in fact. So, how on earth has it skyrocketed past A Storm of Light and Torche to clinch the top spot and crown of 2008? Quite simply because this is the best hardcore album since Botch's We Are The Romans. It is cult, essential, perfection. Trap Them are the band. Despite past bands, TT are a young entity, and have quite simply risen through the hardcore ranks in just two years. An astonishing feat, considering they play in a genre reputedly known for giving new artists a hard time, and those artists having to gain the respect of fans, other bands and critics over a number of albums/tours/years.

Following hot on the heals of 2007's Sleepwell Deconstructor, and 2008 7" EP and Deathwish debut Seance Prime comes Seizures In Barren Praise. As an aside very quickly... Don't you just love the names? They just manage to sound iconic. Anyway, Sleepwell Deconstructor just totally blew the hardcore world open when it was released. How on earth could they top it? There was no way surely. Then comes Seizures In Barren Praise. It tops it. Trap Them don't reinvent the wheel with the album, but that great maturity in songwriting seems to have been bestowed upon them on only their second full length. All songs are equally important, the tracklisting is natural and correct, and all tracks are of the highest caliber. Not one disappoints.

Unknown to me until quite recently, Trap Them have (very oddly for a hardcore band) been following a plot and concept for their records. Sleepwell Deconstructor told the story of members of a fictional village called Barren Praise, who left the dying town in search for a better life. Some found it, some found the outside world too startling and hurtful and were destroyed as a result. Seizures In Barren Praise tells the story of those residents of the village who decided to stay. It recounts the slow transformation of the town from one of struggle to one of denial and inventual degredation. Only a ghost town and the story of their fall is left. It may sound arty farty, but I like that kind of shit. From 'Day Nineteen: Fucking Viva' with it's carrion-call (hehe), "The vertigo, the death threats, the funerals... They'll never end!" to the slow, pained death blow of 'Day Thirty-One: Mission Convincers', Seizures In Barren Praise is stunning.

Download Here.

Honourable mentions go to:

CURSED - III: Architects Of Troubled Sleep (Goodfellow/Reflections)
UNITED NATIONS - United Nations (Eyeball)
ROSETTA - Wake/Lift (Translation Loss)
MOUTH OF THE ARCHITECT - Quietly (Translation Loss)
GUAPO - Elixirs (Ipecac)
ASVA - What You Don't Know Is Frontier (Southern)
MAMMIFER - Hirror Ennifer (Hydrahead)
HELMS ALEE - Night Terrors (Hydrahead/Robotic Empire)
CAPSULE - Blue (Robotic Empire)

Hydra Head have had a very good year, and one I would call resurgent. 2007 left me kind of cold for a while, as they seemed to focus a lot on black metal (Xasthur, Bergraven, etc), which was cool, but just didn't hit the spot. Robotic Empire continued their awesome vinyl versions of Hydra Head releases, as well as putting out some very noteworthy releases of their own.

EPs haven't been included... Can't think of too many that have lit my world on fire. I don't tend to listen to too many anymore. Splits worthy of mention are certainly THURSDAY/ENVY. Beautiful set of songs that perfectly compliment each other. Really cool.

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Anticipated albums of 2009:

All upcoming SD releases, of course!! And...

CIRCLE TAKES THE SQUARE - Ritual Of Names (Robotic Empire)

The long awaited follow up to 2004's As The Roots Undo. They've certainly kept their fans waiting. Kings (and queens) of lyrics and conceptual songs/albums, CTTS have certainly laid down a gauntlet for themselves with such a protracted 5 year wait (AtRU came out early 2004, and there is still no word on a release date, as they are still rewriting/demoing the material of RoN!).

One song in seven parts is the only thing let slip aside from the album being the first of a number of recordss that tie together as a concept, as far as I can gather. It will doubtlessly be a masterpiece, the band having replaced previous drummer, with one of the best drummers in the world right now, ex-Mare Caleb Collins.

POISON THE WELL - tbc (Ferret)

Poison the Well are probably the most unusual band in hardcore now, and perhaps, ever. The reason for this is plain. Despite a ridiculous number of line-up changes the band still have the same core members and are still putting out records 11 years after they formed that sounds new, fresh and challenging. No small feat for a band who operate in a scene where a band's life mileage is about 4-5 years before they either split or start to repeat themselves.

They came from nowhere, where then picked up and were loyal to much respected US hardcore label Trustkill, only to be bizarrely courted by Universal. An offer that they surprisingly accepted and put out the fabulous You Come Before You, before being promptly dropped for not getting the sales expected (the album was a change of direction and some more xhardcorex kids naturally saw this as major label influence).

They then moved on and got picked up by Ferret, their home to this day. They released Versions, and blew everyone away by another lateral jump in style - still sounding like PTW but instilling a maturity into their sound and an even bigger lust to bastardize the hardcore template. God knows what the new record will sound like! I anticipate the mindfuck happily.

BLOODY PANDA - tbc (Level Plane)

These guys came out of nowhere to do a split 12" with better known avant-doomists Kayo Dot, on UK Holy Roar. They were promptly snapped up for the release of their debut album by Level Plane. What came was Pheremone. A fantastic album, but flawed. It just wasn't long enough.

That isn't a flippant comment to say that what's there is great. It is great material, but just not enough of it, especially when one considered that they dropped two songs off their three track demo CDR. It would have been a kick in the face of Holy Roar to include one of them, as then both tracks on the 12" would have been featured on the album, so I can understand, but why 'Mizu' wasn't re-recorded is a mystery to me. Hopefully the album will be a little longer and more honed.

JODIS - tbc (Hydrahead)

Ex-Khanate bassist and all around musical prodigy James Plotkin and ex-Khanate and continual collaborator Tim Wyskida, team up with ISIS vocalist/guitarist Aaron Turner. How couldn't be excited by the prospect, especially when Plotkin describes it as a melodic but scarier Khanate?! Having heard the track 'Continents', I can also hear influence from Low and Mare. This could be amazing.

ISIS - tbc (Ipecac/Conspiracy/Daymare)

Hopefully a redeeming album. I've never been a huge fan of ISIS, but The Abscence of Truth was a disappointment even to me. However, it was met with positive press and a surge of popularity, and it has been a steady evolution of ISIS to turn away from heaviness. We shall see.

KYLESA - tbc (Prosthetic)

Again, I wasn't a huge fan of Time Will Fuse It's Worth. However, unlike the above, I am a much bigger fan of Kylesa in general - To Walk A Middle Course is a classic. Similarly to the above however is the fact that TWFIW was met to critical acclaim too. However, I still like it, so I hold hope that whatever magic sparkle I couldn't glean out of their last opus, will once again be present in their new effort.

NARROWS - New Distances (Deathwish)

Members of Botch, These Arms Are Snakes, Some Girls and Bullet Union. Erm, it was hardly ever going to be shit now was it? David Velleren returns to the hardcore mic again, as if Botch never ended. He sounds as fresh and as punishing as he always did. Their debut 7" is outstanding. The album has a lot to live up to - the 7"s glimpse at what we can expect, and all the hype that surrounds them. I think this has classic written all over it.

GNAW - tbc (Conspiracy)

As above, ex-Khanate vocalist Alan Dubin returns with his awe-inspiring, terror-inducing voice. However, unlike Narrows, Gnaw is a totally different direction musically, blending crushing drums with electronics that sound like the soundtrack to a cursed horror film. This will be interesting to finally hear, after a singular demo track made the rounds quite a while ago.

TOMBS - Winter Hours (Relapse)

Following their brilliant debut EP on Level Plane, Tombs are back with a full length on Relapse. Mike Hill carries on releasing with another fantastic band. Nothing really to add, except that a new track, 'Gossamer' has been previewed from the new album and outtake from album recording sessions featured on a split with the excellent Planks, 'Cheval Noir', both sound ace.

Quick note to actually put in writing what I've said to Hels lots, and also spoke to Clint (Heavy Sounds) a few days ago - Relapse released good shit but always with lots and lots of wank. About two years ago, something happened behind the scenes, and now they're really releasing some quality, quality stuff. There's still some guff from time to time, but boy has their roster got better.

KHANATE - Clean Hands Go Foul (Southern Lord?/Hydra Head?/Trust No One?)

Last ever Khanate album surfaces FINALLY. Sister-record to Capture & Release, laid down in the same recording session. Can't wait, but brings back the sadness that they're gone for good.

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Other possible albums are ones from RWAKE, YEAR OF NO LIGHT, MONARCH!, SIKA REDEM, ENVY, MINSK and WOLVES IN THE THRONE ROOM. None of these are confirmed but it would make sense for them to put something out sometime next year.

Anticipated albums to still come out or released in 2008 that I haven't heard are IREPRESS' Sol Eye Sea I, the follow-up to Samus Octology, ROLO TOMASSI's debut Hysterics, CULT OF LUNA's Eternal Kingdom and probably loads more I'm forgetting!

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Lol Wut

http://www.last.fm/music/Mode+7

:D

Also note that 75 of these listens were by this guy.

How odd :)

Monday, 1 December 2008

Would


KONNIE HUQ (Circa Blue Peter)

Wholesome family oriented totty. 


KAJI MEIKO (Circa 1973)

Icy, vengeful exploitation star. Rarely got tits out.


DANNI MINOGUE (Circa Saturday nights)

Sleazy antipodean sex pot.


LILLIAN GISH (Circa 1919)

Tragedy prone, monochrome, and long since dead.
 

ALEXA CHUNG (Circa recently)

Brain dead leggy presenter.


WASHING GIRL (circa 2007-8)

She knows her way round a kitchen.


IRENE JACOB (circa 1993)

Stunning actor, capable of evoking pathos for even the lowliest of characters. Got her flange out once.


CRISTINA RICCI (Circa barely legal)

Huge tits, a bit gloomy though.


KRISTEN SCHAAL (Circa when I'm in an odd mood)

Who knows why.



RANDOM PHONE WOMAN (Circa the other day)

The hottest fashion disaster ever.


ESTHER HALL (Circa 2006)

Loves: modems, mobile phones, competitive tariffs, divorce. Hates: rival networks.


CHRISTINE BLEAKLEY (Circa weekdays at 6)

Pure, unadulterated filth.



MICHELLE YEOH (Circa Tomorrow Never Dies)

Rock hard, Gravity defying Malaysian fighting lady.
 


LEI-LEI/HSIEN-KO (circa 1997)

Blue Chinese ghost with hooks for hands. What?



LYA LYS (Circa 1929)

Toe sucking surrealist type bint.



CHUN-LI (Circa 1992)

Mighty legged Chinese secret agent/YOUNG SINGLE GIRL


OLGA KURYLENKO (Circa Littlewoods catalogue p235-9)

The only clothed image of her on the Internet.



JENNY AUGUTTER (Circa 1976)

Posh, busty one time sci-fi actor. Liked to get naked.






Discuss.