Muscle March on WiiWare

This has been around for a while now, but you guys suck so much I doubt you've seen it. Looks absolutely awesome but the chances of it coming to the UK are even slimmer than the chances of Poles Big Adventure coming over. Which is a shame, as the WiiWare service is pretty shit at the moment :(

Shameless profiteering

Oh shit look how depressing.

Leeeet's

Please

Update

Line up so far!

EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY
BATTLES
STEPHEN MALKMUS AND THE JICKS
DIRTY THREE
TORTOISE
SHELLAC
MELVINS
MUDHONEY
J MASCIS AND THE FOG
THE FOR CARNATION
PAPA M
SUNN O)))
DEERHOOF
THE DRONES
SLEEPY SUN
BARDO POND
FUCK BUTTONS
APSE
ALEXANDER TUCKER & DECOMPOSED ORCHESTRA

Tell me it wouldn't be awesome?!

GUESS THAT GAME

This post is going to be so fucking awesome. Here are a selection of 20 videogames. Guess what game they are from. I've played all of them but 2, so it's not too obscure. I will give 10p for each correct answer. Yes, I'm actually paying people to read this. Next I'll be cutting myself and posting pictures of my cock.

1 - SONIC TRIPLE TROUBLE (AKA Sonic and Tails in Triple Trouble) (Guessed by Chaz)
2 - RECCA (Guessed by Chaz)
3
4
5
6

7
8
9 - FATAL FURY (Guessed by Chaz)
10
11
12
13
14
15
16 - CLOCK TOWER (Guessed by Tim)
17 - GALS PANIC (Guessed by Chaz)
18
19
20

Srange Fetish or Strangest Fetish?

While looking for pictures for my next blog, which will almost certainly be posted by the time you read this, I found this. Wut? How odd. I'm pretty damn hungover, so it doesn't take much to confuse me :(

Today my Head Feels Like...

...an Arse.

It's all ancient history now

Look at this Ainu tunic, what does it remind you of?

Yes, that's right, it's kind of like Wander's tunic from Shadow of the Colossus! As worn here by some excellent cosplayers:

And as I'm bombarding you with stuff I've just found on t'internets, here's some drum decorations from an ancient Vietnamese culture - look a bit like the first bit from Watership Down, I like.

He didn't beat it

Found this site after putting the above into google.

God I love the satirical wikipedias.

Oh My

Notice.

Chris has not posted since: 3rd March 2009.
Bummer.

FILM WATCH 2009

Well, working in a cinema has pretty much squahed my enjoyment of films coming out in the here and the now. But I'm currently forcing myself to get more interested in brand new and upcoming films. So here are 5 films coming out soon that I'm as bothered about as I should be, but will undoubtedly enjoy if I force myself to watch them.

1: ENTER THE VOID (Gaspar Noe)

The director of Seul Contre Tous and Irreversible returns with this ridiculously colourful and doubtlessly over the top Faustian parable in which a drug dealer is killed in a shoot out, and his ghost floats around Tokyo watching his sister have sex and that. Expect lots of languid camera shots and eye melting colour: it's already been described as "the longest screen saver I have ever seen" by Jonathan Romney. I'll probably love it regardless, but let's just wait and see.

2: INGLORIOUS BASTARDS (Quentin Tarantino)

I don't really know what to write on this, as the rabid coverage on the internet has almost spared me the necessity of actually watching it for myself. Critical reaction has actually been pretty lukewarm so far, but it's hard to imagine this being anything other than exemplary.

3: BRUNO (no idea)

Borat was very funny. Bruno is a much funnier character than Borat. So this will be funnier. And therefore better.

4: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE (Spike Jonze)

As anyone who has seen the trailer can testify, this film will surely capture the woozy dreamlike feeling in a way few thought would be possible. The mixture of subtle CG and good old fashioned blokes in monster costumes gives the film a lovely nostalgic feeling too, which is apt for a feature that will live and/or die depending on how well it evokes childhood memories.

5: BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE (god knows)

Based on a flashy cartoon with lots of blood and bare calves in it. Dunno if it'll be good, but it'll be good, if you know what I mean.

Mind Blank

This is interesting. Did write out a nice paragraph about this, but it came out terribly. To sum up, I think it's a terrible idea, reeks of imperialism - freedom surely means choice! Anyone agree with Sarkozy?

Shirts for Virgins

Well, since no one 'got' my last post/link thing, I'll move on to more populist territories, i.e bright blocky colours and that kind of thing. I might have even posted about this before, but I can't remember, and don't fancy checking, so yeah.

You might have heard of Uniqlo's range of videogame T-shirts. These differ from your usual videogame T-shirts in that they are not shit. In fact, several of them are pretty awesome. The reason why they are awesome is that it is not obvious they are a videogame T-shirt, which is much more awesome than a T-shirt which is obviously a videogame related T-shirt.

Unfortunately, the site is a bit shit and won't let me copy their images free of charge (wankers), so I'm going to have to link to them. Which means this post is going to be really shit and boring and lacking in colour. So instead I'll just link here which has pictures of all the shirts. Go on. Have a look. I've put time and effort into this post.

Some things to note:

1: These shirts are really cheap! 500円 is liek £3.50! Even the more expensive shirts are under a tenner! Obviously P&P has to be factored in, but even so, if I can figure out a way to order them (prob best by a proxy buying service), I shouldn't end up spending too much :O

2: The Densha de Go! Shirt (in grey) is amazing. I've even played Densha de Go! once. Briefly.

3: The green Xevious one is also quite cool.

4: The Bomber Man one would be a laugh to wear in this political climate.

5: The Makaimura (Ghosts N Goblins) one is incredible! I love the faux Metallica font!

Anyway, peace out, blog. Ignore me at your peril.

Today I've been mostly drinking

Stella Artois

BLOG WATCH

Sometimes you don't know you need something until you find it. Even then, you're not sure if you really want it, but you're stuck with it now so you might as well live with it. Asian poses is one such thing. It's a little creepy (in that it is very creepy), but it is also extremely apt in chronicling such a specific facet of everyone's favourite ethnic group. Anyway, it's a bit of a laugh. Maybe there should be a Filipino version?

When blogs go bad

So I only found out today that as well as being an Irish revolutionary, Michael Collins was also the first man not on the moon.

This made me wonder what would happen if I googled myself - I know, crazy eh? As it turns out I got several academics, two guitarists, a graphic designer and a psychiatrist.

What, if anything does this say about me / Michael? And what comes up when you google yourself? (Ooo, matron etc.)

Charlie Brooker's Gameswipe

Could be interesting. He did used to write for a PC magazine, though. Apparently he interviewed the guys from Consolevania on a recent Screenwipe or something. I don't know. I find his print stuff quite funny, and I really should be excited by a new videogame related TV show, but I kind of find him annoying in the flesh, so to speak.

OVER-EMOTIONAL SPLURGE

Dear blog

Right now I'm feeling pretty tired and have been feeling kinda depressed all evening - not sure why but it's likely to be down to lack of sleep and slight alcohol dependancy - both of which I blame on nights drinking wine in front of tv and feeling of isolation out here in the Fenland Wastes.

So far on PGCE front I applied 2 weeks and a day ago and have yet to receive any reply from Nottingham Trent, my first choice. Know it's still early but starting to get anxty anyway.

Works been going fine, actually been enjoying days working and chatting along with staff & residents. Do feel like everyday's a challenge against my natural inability to speak coherantly, but as I say to our resident Virgil (who yesterday urinated on a parked car while the elderly occupent watched on in dismay and a Community Support Officer tried to take my Dad's name while he said it wasn't upto him what Virgil did and he had even told Virgil to go to the public loos but Virgil knows everyone sees him as this Uncle Jack drunk figure so he feels like he has Carte Blanche to do whatever he wants - Virgil originally comes from the Fairstead Estate btw) "Well, yeah, but that's just like --- how stuff turns out sometimes isn't it?".

Worry that teaching's not for me and I'm not even much good at working in homeless hostel - even though I do enjoy it. Worry that my acne's coming back. Worry that my head's so freaking greasy. Worry that next year's going to be shit without the Excalibur Cottage crew in full force and Jess living god knows where doing god knows what. Worry that I've been drinking too much. Worry that I'm worrying too much. Worry that I'll read this tomorrow and think why did I post this shit?

But nevermind, I'll go have some orange juice to raise my blood sugar levels and get an early night ready for another day of work tomorrow, take care and that.

100 GET!

Had to be done. You loose.

20 September 2005 10:40:59

*************************************************************** ***************************************************************************** ********************************************************************************* ********************************************************* ***************************************************** ********************************************************* **************************************************************** ******************************************i thought that you might appriciate an update of the last dying days of lynn.It goes like this,FRI NITE when you left we continued drinking untill we could drink no more.Then we went round Jos', for one nite only,which was great. I was still pretty fucked though so i went home. The nite sky was so bright from the full moon,super gorgeous blue like a playstation 2.SAT MORN i rest pretty intensively,then leave the house at 8, having eaten only one meal (whoops) me,adam cat ben leanne, dan and his hirstue girlf all get absolutely wankered.I beat Daniel at pool AGAINwhich is cool,I'm winning 4-0.Hoo baby etc.Drink flaming sambuccas.I don't remember walking back.Needless to say on SUN i feel a tad frail to say the least,and i don't drink at the wildfowler pub quiz,but i still participate.we come 3rd,bt i HATE kate and Laurens friends so i leave the second it is over.Then YESTERDAY i get a phonecall frm notts accom from a cheery girl telling me i havn't got accom, but they'll put me in a box room for a few days and something should come up. this i found just a TEENSY BIT ANNOYING so to get drunk it's back to the lattice.I have a nice meal w my mum sister grandpa,then adam leanne cat and a plethora of people i do not know (downham krew)turn up we make polite convo then back to the wildfowler for the most antisocial pint ever and a quick game of pool.I loose.********************************************** ***************************************************** *************************************************************** ******************************************************************** *************************************************************************** *********************************************************** ******************************************************************* ******************************************************** **************************************************************** **************************************************** ****************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *************************************************** *********************************************** *********************************************************************

Tentacle Rape

Burying Spiders

Umihara.org, an English language fansite devoted to the best game ever made has been resurrected! The info is nowhere near as good as its Japanese counterparts, but there are lots of pictures (mainly pornographic, I warn you), and mp3 files from the first game's absolutely amazing soundtrack.

In other news, the release date for Umihara Kawase DS is still rather worryingly 'TBA'. Remember that this was originally set to ship in March....

:(





* EDIT *

Is it just me or would that GIF, properly done, make an awesome tattoo?

49 FRAGMENTS OF A CHRONOLOGY OF CERTAINTY

9




1 -Guy blocks my way setting up

1 - Can't find huge spider

1 - Toy Story 3 18/6/09????? gonna get sick of that one

1 - Hut Hut Hut

5 - TS3 trailer 3rd time in 70 mins

6 - WHERE IS SPIDER?

7 - forehead hot itchy

8 - Fuck off im writing

9 - playground bangaround stuck in head



11



10 - where the wild things are awesome

11 - think it's raining but eyelashes are actually frozen

12 - produced by tom hanks?

13 - willI get to eat lunch today?

14 - planning blog after blog

15 - brain dying

16 - children getting uglier

17 - eddie murphy plays black man in new film

18 - natural high emerging after 15 mins in -27 freezer

19 - panic attack

20 - hut hut hut




11



21 - remember my name, bitches

22 - grotesquely obese man orders huge portion of food

23 - tuna between fingers

24 - girl i prob would

25 - drop 1/2L mayonnaise on floor, scoop 4.5L remainder into tub w/ plastic spoon

26 - burn tongue on noodles

27 - spider hunt no result

28 - not long yeah no

29 - fat man hobbles back least 6ft3 jesus

30 - girl would ohno actually 15

31 - bored of wild things arcade fire




12



32 - hut hut fuckin hut

33 - wonder if chaz will come over LIKE FUCK SHE WILL

34 - maybe I should get drunk tonight

35 - xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

36 - it might get busy in 10 mins

37 - toilet break no 8

38 - oh hate

39 - no new burns

40 - do i go by till time (yeah)

41 - rush lol over

42 - i hate arcade fire heh

43 - get read for time to stretch




6



44 - now wait for the door to open!!

45 - break fucking pint glass that i knew i would fuckin break

46 - COME ON EAGER FACES

47 - not working overtime

48 - xxxxxxxxxxxx

49 - x

NEW LAPTOP!!!!!

Huzzah! Finally got one and it's half the size of my old one and smells of chemicals. The screen is only 10.1 inches! And the be..


..Oh. Oh, wait.


Oh. Nevermind.

Capitalist Pornography

I've been feeling quite good about myself lately cus I've finally got the PGCE form done and dusted (Benji's definitely been accepted BTW! Which gives me hope... after all, if Benji, then why not I? etc) as well as my tax form, I decided to have a bit of retail therapy. First of all, I must point out Chazza trumped me in every respect by getting an awesome laptop for an awesome price, but I won't linger on this, cus I imagine she'll give us a traditionally terse summary of this herself (NEW LAPTOP! (jpeg of a ginger kitten on a laptop). Anyway, in reverse order of awesomeness;

These noodles are kind of pricey at 95p a pot, at least compared to the joys of the bulk bought ones from Hyperama. But these ones can be eaten anywhere where boiling water can be procured, which makes it awesome for work! The lemon green tea drink was
pretty awesome too. Very sweet.

Frankly this isn't very interesting, as it's just my lunch for the next week, but oh well.

This copy of Trainspotting has quite a nice front cover. I've been meaning to pick it up for a while, and Chaz coerced me into doing so at the check-out in Fopp. Two pounds seemed like a good deal, BUT WAIT, why is it so thick?

Because it has a copy of Oliver Twist grafted to it, obviously. How odd. Having read neither, I can't really comment on relation between the two stories. Having seen film adaptations of both the books, however, I can't really see any parralels between the two, other than the fact that Dickensian London is a dead ringer for modern day Glasgow.

Anyway, moving on...

Also from Fopp I got this issue of Sight and Sound, which talks about Tarrantino's new film. It seems to more or less give the whole of the plot away, so I'll have to be careful reading it, which is a shame. Obviously Sight and Sound readers are too highbrow to care about trivial little things like spoilers.

In Page 45 I got this awesome looking collection of American horror comics from the last 60 or so years. I've been wanting to sample this kind of exploitative trash for a while, and at £13 for 544 packed pages, this is awesome value. Will make great bed time reading.

By far the most amazing thing I got today was this though: a copy of Suehiro Maro's Midori: The Sad Story of the Camellia Girl. It's never been published to my knowledge in English; this edition is in Italian. But when you find something that's as rare as rocking horse shit in your local comic book shop, it's kind of rude to complain, especially when the asking price is only £8 (:O). Just being able to hold this bizarre Erotic-Grotesque snuff porn epic in my hands is pretty awesome. Pretty ballsy of the shop to sell something that's almost certainly illegal. When I took it up to the counter, I mentioned how surprised I was to find it. The shop keeper chuckled ruefully and remarked "yes, I don't expect you'd be able to find anything like that anywhere else in this country". Great stuff :)