Right now I'm feeling pretty tired and have been feeling kinda depressed all evening - not sure why but it's likely to be down to lack of sleep and slight alcohol dependancy - both of which I blame on nights drinking wine in front of tv and feeling of isolation out here in the Fenland Wastes.
So far on PGCE front I applied 2 weeks and a day ago and have yet to receive any reply from Nottingham Trent, my first choice. Know it's still early but starting to get anxty anyway.
Works been going fine, actually been enjoying days working and chatting along with staff & residents. Do feel like everyday's a challenge against my natural inability to speak coherantly, but as I say to our resident Virgil (who yesterday urinated on a parked car while the elderly occupent watched on in dismay and a Community Support Officer tried to take my Dad's name while he said it wasn't upto him what Virgil did and he had even told Virgil to go to the public loos but Virgil knows everyone sees him as this Uncle Jack drunk figure so he feels like he has Carte Blanche to do whatever he wants - Virgil originally comes from the Fairstead Estate btw) "Well, yeah, but that's just like --- how stuff turns out sometimes isn't it?".
Worry that teaching's not for me and I'm not even much good at working in homeless hostel - even though I do enjoy it. Worry that my acne's coming back. Worry that my head's so freaking greasy. Worry that next year's going to be shit without the Excalibur Cottage crew in full force and Jess living god knows where doing god knows what. Worry that I've been drinking too much. Worry that I'm worrying too much. Worry that I'll read this tomorrow and think why did I post this shit?
But nevermind, I'll go have some orange juice to raise my blood sugar levels and get an early night ready for another day of work tomorrow, take care and that.
1: Awwwwww
ReplyDelete2: It's best not to worry about the PGCE yet: I imagine you applied through GGTR so there's lots of paperwork and rigmarole to go through, innit. (You just reminded me to wait by the letterbox for any news for mine :S)
3: Excalibur will work somehow, I'm sure of it! I've been looking at potential movers (kind of not really), and anyway, the less distractions we have from our course the better.
4: Everyone's shit at their jobs. No, everyone thinks they're shit at their jobs. No one at my work has a clue what they are doing, wherever they are in the chain. Most people in the country are just in office jobs tweaking spreadsheets, and keeping a low profile. Most of my teachers were pretty shit, even the good ones. Once you get some experience, and you have the lesson guidelines in front of you, you twig "hmmmm, this is pretty easy".
5: GROW SOME, FUNGO.
I think you've missed your calling as a councillor Michael!
ReplyDeleteWas expecting complete emotional rape / silence but instead got some nice words and reassurance - maybe my absence is making you sentimental?
It's very true. I have no idea what I am doing. At all.
ReplyDeleteI can't even tweak the graphs properly.